I thought I'd start this blog update out with a warning. I am a bit sleep deprived, and I've had to stop writing this 4 or 5 different times for diaper changes, feeding, and bath time. But the longer I go without writing this, the more I'm afraid that I will forget something. So this entry is going to be more of a memory dump than anything else.....
After a few hours in the labor and delivery room, I was told that I was experiencing what they referred to as "titanic contractions". These suckers were lasting 7 and 8 minutes long. Pretty uncomfortable too. Since I wasn't dilating, aka in "active labor", the plan was to discharge me and have us come back when my contractions became more steady and were closer together. I thank God every day that they didn't discharge me. I shutter to think of the horribleness that could have followed. Fifteen minutes before I was set to be discharged, I had another one of these titantic contractions, except this time his heart rate dropped dangerously low for five minutes. After that, every time I had a contraction his heart rate dropped. One time it got as low as 60. (His regular heart rate was between 155 - 160 so you can imagine how scary this was for all of us.) This was a game changer and we were told I had to stay for observation until my high risk doctor could come in and do a sonogram...5 hours later. What's strange, is that during those five hours I kept thinking that everything was going to be okay and that we were going to be sent home.
The doctor arrived a little before 2pm and began the sonogram. I had another contraction while she was performing it, and the next thing I know she abruptly stopped and stepped aside to make a call to my doctor who was on her way to the hospital. It was at that point that several nurses walked into the room and started moving around and unhooking me from the machines. After everything was said and done, Brandon later told me he saw the head nurse make a cutting motion across her stomach to let the other nurses know that they had to prep for a c-section. The nurse calmly told me that everything was okay at the moment, but that the umbilical cord was wrapped around Liam's neck TWICE. Every time I had one of these contractions it was squeezing around his throat causing his heart rate to drop. Within five minutes they threw cover ups to Brandon and told him to put them on, and started wheeling me into the O.R. to start an epidural.
I was terrified. First of all, the last thing I wanted was a c-section. Second of all, I wasn't sure what to think about Liam's safety. Everyone around me had a chaotic calm about them, and I could tell that they were purposefully not talking to each other about what was happening in front of me. All of the nurses kept assuring me that Liam was still breathing fine "for the moment" and not to worry. They must have repeated it 5 or 6 times in about a 3 minute period before I told them that their constant assurance was telling me that things could not be fine at any minute and asked them to stop saying it before Brandon came in the room. I suddenly went from not wanting a c-section to holding back the urge to scream at everyone to hurry up and get him out of me before something bad happened. The next thing I know, Brandon is in the room telling me that everything is going to be okay and being INCREDIBLY calming and supportive. I think that we were both so scared of showing the other person how worried we were, that we both ended up being stronger for it. I remember slightly panicking because I could feel the doctor touching my lower body, and told her that I didn't think I was numb enough yet. That's when she told me that she had been "pinching the you know what out of me" and that I had nothing to worry about. Within minutes I could smell the burning of the laser cutting through my muscles, and felt the most intense pressure I've ever felt that almost took my breath away. Then I remember hearing my doctor say the words "well hey there little guy", followed by the most amazing noise I have ever heard. My sweet little boy started crying. I got to see him for a total of 2 seconds before the NICU team had him and began their check to make sure he was breathing on his own and didn't have any major problems for being a premie. Thankfully, my doctor stopped what she was doing to come over and tell me when the NICU team had left and that he was doing fine. I honestly don't think I have prayed so much in my entire life. While all this was happening, my anesthesiologist decided Brandon was slacking on the picture taking, and grabbed my phone and camera and started acting like a photographer in the middle of a photo shoot. Looking back I'm thankful that she did this, but at the time I was a little disturbed that she was so busy taking pictures and not watching my vitals.
Before I knew it, we were all back in the hospital room and I had my little angel sleeping on my chest. He was born at 2:47pm weighing 5 lbs 10 oz, and measuring 17 inches long.
I can't say this enough, but we are so blessed, and so eternally grateful that our little man is so healthy. During our stay, every nurse told us how just how lucky we were that he was so strong. They kept telling us that white boys have the most complications as premies and that we were incredibly lucky. The only obstacle we had with his health was a slight case of jaundice. We had to have him lay under a UV light for 24 hours the second day to help get his color back and get rid of all the toxins in his body. That was pretty rough because he hated it, but in the grand scheme of things it was a small price to pay. Other than that, he has been absolutely perfect. Brandon and I are obsessed. I never knew it was possible to love someone so much. I've had little sleep, I've been peed and pooped on more times than I can count..and I could care less. I have to force myself to give him to Brandon, or to let him sit in his swing instead of holding him 24 hours a day.
And to top it all off, Brandon has been an amazing dad and husband through it all. He kept me calm during the c-section, and was so involved in the hospital that the nurses would comment on how lucky Liam and I are. He has helped keep the house clean, and has been great at giving me a break so that I can shower and do whatever it is that I want to do around the house when I want to do it. Now if only I can get him to change more diapers :)
I've never been so happy in my whole life. So much so that sometimes it scares me. Last Thursday was the best day of our lives, and I honestly don't know how anything will ever compare.
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